Manversation

I live in one-half of a duplex (a “paired home” or “single family attached home” according to the latest marketing terminology) in an HOA-controlled subdivision. I’m not really sure how I wound up in an HOA community and I guarantee you that my next house will not be in one. I just really don’t care what colors my neighbors paint their houses, or whether or not their lawn is green. I also believe that most truly obnoxious situations such as 3 ft high weeds or cars up on blocks in the front yard are usually addressed by city or county ordinance. (I could be wrong about this, I haven’t really researched it, but I do remember getting a weed notice once from the city in a previous home I rented). Therefore, adding another layer of government and bureaucracy in the form of an HOA board is both an unnecessary additional expense in the form of HOA dues and a potential nuisance as you will see below.

The notice to paint and my neighbor

Early this year, I got a notice from the HOA board that my house needed painting. That was fair enough, I suppose, it had been nearly eight years since the house was built and the paint was definitely looking a little sorry. Not chipping or cracking or anything major like that, but it was fading and had some water stains in certain areas.

As is my typical style, I procrastinated until nearly the last possible minute then got in touch with the owner of the other half of the duplex, ‘Ronald’, to see what he wanted to do about the painting. The whole situation was complicated by the fact that Ronald doesn’t live in the other half anymore and is renting it out. I asked him if he wanted me to get some estimates or if he wanted to work with me and we could do it ourselves and save a lot of money.

Ronald’s family had been having some tough times lately, and he was all for saving some money. In fact, his first idea, which would have saved him a lot of money was that he would buy all the paint and in return, I would paint the entire duplex. I basically told him (nicely) to go piss up a rope with that idea, I mean come on, the paint is the cheap part while the labor would account for the lion’s share of the cost if we were to hire this out.

In later conversations, I felt a little sorry for him and I decided that if he would buy the rest of the paint (at this point I had already bought five gallons), I would paint the FRONT ONLY of his half of the duplex. Keep this part in mind for later, it’s important for the punch line, such as it is, of this little tale.

Getting the color approved

With my neighbor on board (or so I thought) for doing this DIY-style and saving some money, I started picking out a color (both Ronald and his renters said they didn’t really care what color I picked). I went with a blue with tan trim scheme and submitted (via snail mail) my choices to the HOA design review panel. After nearly a month of waiting for a response, they rejected the body color, and in hindsight, they acted appropriately in doing so. The first color I picked was a little wild, it was almost a turquoise shade of blue.

So, I toned it down quite a bit (or so I thought) and here’s where the fun really begins. What follows is a transcription of my actual emails with the manager of the HOA, ‘Val’. To her credit, she was very friendly and easy to work with throughout the whole process but, as you will see, the bureaucracy of the HOA started to run amok at certain points throughout the process. The emails that follow are my actual correspondence with the HOA but details such as names etc. have been changed to protect the innocent!:

From: Chris
Sent: Monday, July 14, 2008 10:17 AM
To: Val
Subject: paint color samples

Hi Val

I went to Home Depot last night and found a blue I like that is quite a bit more subdued than the other one that wasn’t approved. Can you take a look at this and let me know if  this new color, ‘Blue Slate’, would be acceptable for the body color of the house? The trim would still be ‘Sandy Tan’. I scanned the unapproved color in too, just for comparison.
<<Image756.jpg>> <<paint chips.pdf>>

Thanks!
Chris

From: Val
Sent: Monday, July 14th, 2008 2:17 PM
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Chris,
The Board looked at the new paint colors, they would still like to see another option for the body color.

From: Chris
Sent: Monday July 14th, 2008 3:00 PM
To: Val
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hi Val - Wow, that kind of surprises me. I think it’s pretty similar to a lot of other blues I’ve seen around. Looking at my first choice, I’ll admit that one was maybe a little too wild, but this one seemed like it should have worked. Do you have any suggestions for me? Are they looking for something lighter, darker, more grey etc? A little more feedback would be really helpful and appreciated - I really would like to start painting by this weekend and I need to coordinate buying the paint with the owner of the other half.

Thanks
Chris

From: Val
Sent: Monday July 14th 3:47 PM
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Let me see if I can get some answers for you and I’ll get right back to you.
Val

Val never wrote back and at this point I was getting a little frustrated, so I thought I would just go to the Home Depot, grab a chip for EVERY shade of blue they made, and show up at the HOA board meeting to let them help me pick a color!

From: Chris
Sent: Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 1:52 PM
To: Val
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hi Val – did you hear anything yet? If you haven’t heard anything yet, I was thinking of just coming to the board meeting tonight and bringing paint samples of all the varieties of blue Home Depot carries and seeing if we can all just sit down and pick one we all agree on. Do you think that would work?

Thanks
Chris

Val didn’t reply to this one – probably didn’t want to encourage me to come to the meeting, but I did indeed carry out my plan. At first, I had visions of bringing in the whole 2” thick wad of paint chips,  dropping it on the desk in front of the HOA and saying, “OK, suckers, lemme know which one of these will work!” In the end I was a little nicer than that, went through all the colors and circled about 15 that I liked and brought only those chips to the meeting. They approved my first choice of the 15 colors at the meeting, so in this case, the third time really was a charm. Here is my follow-up email:

From: Val
Sent: Tuesday, July 15th, 2008 8:01 PM
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hey Chris,
Thanks for coming to the meeting tonight, glad we got you taken care of.
Val

From: Chris
Sent: Wednesday, July 17, 2008 7:24 AM
To: Val
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hi Val – Thank you for being so helpful throughout this process. I realize I procrastinated on getting the colors approved and you would have been within your rights to say “Hey, the form says we can take up to 30 days to approve this,” so I really appreciate that you were willing to be more accommodating so I could work on this on my week off next week. It was nice to meet you and interesting to hear what else the board was up to.

Wonder if the HOA would have approved this color scheme?

At this point, I proceeded to paint my half of the duplex and the front of my neighbor’s half. Ronald came over towards the beginning of the process to buy the paint as per our agreement and wondered why I was using brushes and rollers and insisted that if I just waited for him to come on down with his sprayer next weekend, we could work together and get the whole thing done in one weekend. Good thing I didn’t wait for him. Next weekend became the weekend after that, then the next weekend, and so on and so forth. At one point he asked for Val at the HOA’s number and I later heard through his renters that he had worked out a deal with her to let him have until next April to finish off his half. Here’s where it gets really funny or sad depending on how you look at it:

From: Val
Sent: Monday November 24, 2008 11:01 AM
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hi Chris,
I know you have painted most of your unit, but with the weather changing are you going to be able to get the rest completed by the end of the year?  Just let me know.
Thanks
Val

From: Chris
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 11:14 AM
To: Val
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Hi Val –
I think my half of the duplex is all painted. My next door neighbor, Ronald, hasn’t painted the side and back of his yet but I was talking to my neighbors, his renters and they were saying that he had worked something out with you where you were going to let him have until April of next year to work on it. (I had worked out a deal with him where he bought most of the paint and I agreed to paint the front only of his half).

Oh shoot come to think of it, there is just one small section of siding above the roof on their unit on the east side that would technically be part of mine. Is that what you are talking about? I forgot all about that since I always drive up from the west! Can I finish that when Ronald finishes the rest of his unit? I just checked the forecast and we don’t have any 60+ degree days coming up soon. (I think 60 degrees is required for good adhesion).
Thanks
Chris

From: Val
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 11:30 AM
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Chris,
No I was talking about the other unit.  I see that I did talk to him and grant him an extension, but I didn’t realize at the time it was your other half.  I guess I’ll have to tell the Board we have to live with it until May.  Thanks for clearing it up for me.
Val

From: Chris
Sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 12:04 PM
To: Val
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Thanks Val, when I heard he’d worked something out with you for an extension it never occurred to me that you didn’t realize he was the other half of my duplex.
Chris

From: Val
sent: Monday, November 24, 2008 12:30 pm
To: Chris
Subject: RE: paint color samples

Yea, I’m not that smart!!  Didn’t even occur to me.  Too many addresses to keep track of out there..

Val

I’m living in a half-painted duplex!

And that, my friends, is why I’m living in a duplex that is currently half one color and half another. At least the whole front is the same color, thought like I said before, it wouldn’t really bother me at all if it weren’t. Paint is merely colored adhesive to help hold together the shoddy construction used in our houses these days. Anyway, I guess I learned a few things from the process:

1.    My next house won’t be in an HOA-controlled community
2.    My next house won’t be a duplex
3.    My next house won’t be an all-wood monstrosity. I didn’t mention this above, but my home is all wood, not a bit of brick, stone or other surface on her. That means the whole thing had to be painted.

Do you have a funny or sad story to share about dealing with an HOA or an opinion of HOA boards in general? Join in on the MANversation and post a comment below!

Comments are off for this post